Random Thoughts

Today must be my day for deep thinking! As I stated in my profile, I am an Account Manger for a Health Insurance company. However, what I didn't mention is that I am a black female. Since I'm in a sales role, I am out of the office quite a bit meeting with agents and clients and doing presentations etc. However, my black ass lives in Oregon. *NEWSFLASH* there ain't too many black people in Oregon, and there for damn sure aren't too many black people in the insurance industry here. Did you know that back in the day, the largest percentage of the KKK members came from Oregon??? Sometimes it's gets upsetting when I go out to meet agents or clients and I get that all too familar reaction and look of "Ohhh she is black". (Which I will refer to as, "The Look"). However, with a name like Miesha, I'm thinking, "how in the hell DIDN'T you know my ass was black? Now true enough, when I speak my ethnicity is not apparent - but still~ some days the shit really irks my nerves.

Case in point, this morning. I had an enrollment meeting with a client and the agent. The agent who represents this client~ I really don't care for. I've spoken to him several times on the phone and he's kinda rude, and super stupid. So anyway - first of all, I wake up late. My meeting was at 9:00 and I woke up at 8:15. I got dressed and was out of the house by 8:26. No shower and feeling like complete shit, I race down to the meeting. I get there EXACTLY at 9:00. I even beat the agent there! (Go Miesha! Go Miesha!) As I'm loading the materials I need for the meeting, the agent, drives up. He gets out and introduces himself and I get "The Look". Instantly, he's irritated me and now I don't like his ass even more than I did before we met. So we go in and I run the meeting which lasted about 45 minutes, and he keept interjecting with stupid random comments, and in my head I keep saying "IDIOT" (in that Napoleon Dynamite voice), and giving him that look of "Will you shut the fuck up so I can get this shit done and get the fuck outta here?" When I get done, he gets up and just walks off and starts talking chatting it up with all the employees, and doesn't say anything to me. So I'm thinking, okay I'm done, so I'm out! So I gather up my shit and walk to my car. As I am about to drive away, he comes out and walks to my window and just stands there. I'm thinking, what the hell do you want? So I get out and walk around to him and he shakes my hand and mumbles some BS and asks for a business card, totally forced and not very friendly-ish. So I give him a business card, get in my car and roll out.

So I come to the office and I'm really bothered by this whole encounter, and as I'm sitting in the bathroom I think, You know what? If someone has a problem with my blackness, that is THEIR problem! I will still treat people with respect, until they disrespect me, but I have got to not let this bother me and how I perform my job. Is that not a randomly stupid yet profound thought?